Breakfast, I had  2 type of oranges and 3 crackers. And for lunch, white rice with side dishes. And another tiny orange. 

Yesterday I was out the whole day, but I did take breakfast with 3 half boiled egg, but only ate 1 1/2 since I shared it with Keyaan. Followed by a freeletics exercise, rested a while before showering and went out to help my sister.

We went to Lavender for lunch, and I choose chicken chop with the fries replaces with salad. I ate 2 potato balls, 2 chicken wings, 6 spoonful of mushroom soup, a pinch of bread, and 3/4 of my chicken chop. Oh and ate all of the salad. 

For dinner I ate 2 squashed nectarines, which are bloody expensive, but doesn't taste that good. 

Down and small is too light to describe how I feel yesterday. There's always someone who always disparaging all your efforts, those who disguised concern as a way telling you don't have what it takes to succeed. 

A lion doesn't need to be guided all the way to become a king. So are we. 

The veiled concerned, caring and too much mollycoddling suffocates us. Asking us what we're going to do and keep complaining what we are doing not good enough or not right, is not building us. 

We love challenges, we love to create our own solutions. A person doesn't learn to garden if you keep giving him fruits, as much as a man doesn't think if he was given solution all the time. 

We probably doesn't have fifty years of gardening under our belt, but we are eager to learn, eager to experiment and passionate in what we do. I think I ran out of patience, and I feel like saying, fuck it, you do it alone then. I'll just go and travel and have fun. No need to wake up early, spend our money and time in the forsaken land. 

My weight is currently 85.9 kg. 😭

Yesterday I ate every 2 hours or less, and mostly carbs. I don't feel like eating clean, much less exercising. I garden half heartedly in my house. Pushing some seeds in, just bless them and tell them, do your best..

Pruned the spent roses head as well as kesum. The beauty lifted my mood ever so slightly. 

I woke up eating persimmon. Realizing my mom made fried noodles, I ate one small bowl of it. Two hours later, another bowl. Three slice of sweet bread comes next. After eating the bread, my sil sent chicken rice, which I devoured. Followed by another bowl of fried noodles, grapes, leftover persimmon and roasted chicken breast.

I end up listening to 90's pop and R&B songs. Singing along, dancing does wonder to my mood. Before sleep, I remind myself I'm doing this for me, for my dad and not for others. 

This morning, feeling refreshed, and stepping on the scales, I'm down to 84.5 kg. So for breakfast, I took out a forgotten apple. Slicing it, I'm surprised the pips have sprouted.

I've planted them, and we'll see if they grow. 

Breakfast, fried veggies and 1 green apple.  

Snack, tiny orange. 1 apple. 3/4 bread and 1 half boiled egg (Keyaan's leftover)

Another snack, apple. A bahulu.

Dinner, plum and fried veggies.

After workout, 4 slice of biscuits and  warm chocolate. 

Yesterday, it was raining most of the day, so I just spend hours planning, reading and sewing. 

This morning, I've planted okra, malabar spinach, tat soi, butterhead salad, and kailan. Pruned my roses and daun kesum. 

The last two weeks, eventhough I try hard to maintain my food intake, I lapse. I feel like I'm craving all the starchy food, and sometimes I didn't realize until I'm eating it. 

I ate fruits for breakfast, then I realize my mom made her fried noodles which I ate with gusto, and added another plate. I ate 3 slices of bread. Then when my sil brings a plate of chicken rice, I ate that too. 

It started when I went out, and if I asked low carbs food, my companion will tsked and suggest another higher carbs version, or eat high carbs food that's tempting. 

I'm also tempted since my family always buy tid bits and they are placed near the television room. Which, my hand always find a way to grab a few. Not helping when they all said, it's okay, just a bite doesn't matter. Or that it's healthy. 

They probably doesn't mean to sabotage me or my healthy eating, but somehow I got suck into the spiral. I tried to wat less carbs the next day, and I end up eating more. 

Thankfully my weight stay the same, roughly. But I'm worried that I won't achieved what I've wanted for myself, by keep listening or following others. Saying NO is definitely a skill I need to learn. 

Should I start another 100 days project on healthy eating? I feel drained and lazy, and I need to make a change A.S.A.P. 

Wish me luck to preserve...

XO,

Kate

Yesterday, started a new hobby, sewing and I'm going to spend 2 hours a day learning it. I also wanted to do at least one or two hours of gardening, even in my mom's house. 

(Psst, if you're interested in sewing, head over to khairanialias.blogspot.my for more!)

Last month, I've started to tidying up the lawn, but the weeds are creeping back, the plants were positioned too far, and I have blank space. So today, with the help of my mom and granma, we redo the lawn. 

So tadaa: 

Our farm's house were broken into again. My mat that my granma gave me, keyaan's first mat, various gardening stuff, shoes and many more were stolen. Even my granma's old china. 

I was pissed. 

So when my sister suggest to see her friend's dad, I agree. He asked me to bring some water from the farm and he reads Quran verses, and advice to pour it around the farm to help reduce break in. 

He said that if bad people come to steal, they won't find a way out unless they put it back. I used to not wanting to do it, but they left me no choice. I've lost a lot of stuff, and I had enough. 

Bff asked me to make a sign to warn people off, at least to let them know what will happen if they insist on stealing, which I think a good idea. If the sign don't deter them, well I don't take responsibility of their stubborness. 

The uncle said that the people who stealing are my neighbours, and logically, I think they are either desperate or they want me out, so they can take or use the farm. I din't understand why people could be so full of hatred and greed. 

Well, watch this space. Here's hoping and praying the sign is enough to deter people to stealing again.

Trying to plan a holiday with the brawn is hard when most of his unplanned work trips occurs during holiday, anniversaries and birthday. Last week, he got back and just packed everything for our trip. We start the journey to his sister's house in Puchong, arriving late at night and doze off. 

We started the day with protein based breakfast for me and carbs for them. Discussing the trip was fruitless, as many are fully booked. We went to buy a new swimming suit for me, as we planned to go to Tadom Hill. Ate our lunch at Warung Bunian, it was delicious kampung style dishes. We ate spicy coconut gravy crab (ketam masak lemak cili padi), spicy prawns (sambal udang), chicken in soy sauce (ayam kicap) and veggies. 

Our eyes are filled with anticipation of twinkling blue lake, hiking in forest and campfire. Instead, an old mining rundown turns to a weird shade of blue, surrounded by palm oil trees less than 3 minutes from highway greeted us. It probably best for team building, but not for us. 

In our haste to find the next stop, we start moving towards Perak. We painted new picture of night safari, ecopark and great food. We estimate the drive will be 2 hours, so we did not turn back to get our clothes and itinerary. How wrong we are. 

We end up driving for 6 hours, or the equivalent of roasting a turkey for thanksgiving. We bought cheap clothes at Mydin (Malaysia's Walmart) and book the hotel through agoda. Since we were   disappointed with Tadom Hill, we book a hotel with humongous pool. 

We went to Taiping's night safari and Keyaan was excited to board the train and seeing the animals. He keep on shouting 'Look! (Insert animal name)'. After the 30 minutes ride, we went for dinner at Medan Selera Bomba which was famous with yong taufu. I bought yong taufu and satay while they dine with noodles, which taste horrible so they luck out. The yong taufu is delicious although different style from Johor's. 

Left, Taiping's Yong Taufu and Right, Doli's special Kue Tiaw. 

We start the next day with swimming(or learning to swim for me) for most of the morning, checked out and went to search for the famous Doli's Kue Tiaw. We read online about the chicken rice is nicer, so we opt for chicken rice(only chicken for me) and one special Kue Tiaw to taste. We were pleasantly surprised that the Kue Tiaw is delicious, pack with flavor. For dessert, we tried Bismillah Cendol, which were dispirited as ours are seasoned with hair and fly. Yackss.

Last two days I was grocery shopping and I've compile what I usually eat and buy during the week. I will usually eat the same thing almost everyday, and usually consist of chicken, sausage, burger patty, baby romaine salad. Sometimes I buy fresh veggies in the morning, and since my house always have fruits, I usually don't buy them. 

I'm doing low carbs with fast, cheap and easy solution. I don't cook most days, except just grill/baked/raw, and my husband eat whatever I have, and if you want unprocessed stuff, cook everyday, then good for you, but not possible for me. So if you want a fast, cheap and easy, here's mine.

When I was younger I had lots of pimples and acne scar, and back then I didn't know that it's the side effect of PCOS, and I did use a lot of stuff but to no vail. I even had a bully who made a blog specially to taunt my acne ridden skin, just to spite me. Well, I couldn't care less about it, but I noticed once I start takung care of my food intake, my skin doesn't break out much anymore. 

In fact, the only time I had a pimple if I have been eating too much oily food or carbs days before. I clean my face with only warm water and scrub it once a week. Until last month I start using Korean skin care to help with my skin and I can say my skin are evenly moist, and no more pimples. 

So yesterday, I'm tempted to use diy mask for acne scar. I bought nutmeg and cinnamon during grocery shopping. The mix are : 2 tsp honey, 1 tsp cinnamon, and 1 tsp nutmeg, stir everything and put it in your face. I could get 3 application out of this, so you can use it and put on a lid and store it. 

It will burn and stings a lil bit if you're sensitive, I have mild tingling sensation but I don't mind it, and my cheeks are a bit red afterwards, but overall I'm impressed. (I use it for 1 hour yesterday, and this morning 20 minutes before shower)

Tadaa. Smaller pores, less red, less blackhead, noticeably smoother and even skin tone. I'm going to try this for longer period and see if the scars will fafe in time. Will update later! 

And for today, I ate 4 half boiled eggs(my son refused to eat 2 because i-have-no-idea-why-but-he-cried-and-babbles-in-his-language, 3/4 guava and warm water. 

Late lunch : baked chicken breast dipped in cornflakes and scallion with mushroom soup. (I did not finish all of them. 1/4 of chicken and 5 mouthful of the soup maybe?)

Dinner: mee udang ( noodles with prawn), okay today I'm supposed to be low carbs but I ate noodles cause there's nothing else. I tried to add 2 otak otak for protein thou. 

And at 11.12 I ate my mom's soooo good looking pudding with fruit cocktail, which after waiting and delaying for two hour, I finally bite the bullet and eat one of it. Halfway through it, I realized I did not take any picture and I pause to take one. Hehe. 

Bon appetite! 

I took full body picture and I have waist! Teehee. Here's to another 29 kg!