Weight loss progress


I saw a movie yesterday, its called Thinspiration. Its about a ballerina who were pressure into losing weight by her online peers in a website, and when she lost 10 pounds, they pressure her into losing 20 more. Although at first she was 123, (which was great enough for me), she start losing to 103, and she became anorexic. It was so sad that she thinks she's ugly when I think she's beautiful. 
It certainly put me into shifting my restrictive diet. 

I thought that I don't have issue, but I do. I binge eating when I ate things I'm not supposed to eat, I have super negative body image, I weight myself obsessively, and I punish myself when I'm bad with portion control as well as when people tell me I look good, I dismissed them, thinking I did not change much, or I just lost 10, or that I've gained back 2. Its very negative way to communicate with my own self, and I'm still learning to love myself. 

So now, I'm not on Atkins. I'm not on any diets, just sensible eating and if I over eat, I'll just eat more vegetables on the next meal. And when my best friend told me I look good and I do look like I lost weight, I thanked her instead of launching on how I don't look different at all. 

In my attempt to fill my hours, I'm thinking of taking a sewing class. I could make my own dresses, maybe sew for others, start my own brand.. Sheesh not even registered, but daydreaming of something big. Well, its not bad day dreaming, just need to turn it in reality. 

So tomorrow to do list is to check on sewing class and change my phone camera. I realize that I'm mostly bored most of the time that I end up eating. And I'm super sluggish and tired the last two weeks because I didn't exercise and loading on simple carbs. 

Mee rebus I had for breakfast on Wednesday. 

I did not weight myself since 12th (87.9) and although the last few days I still eat carbs(loaded baked potato, boiled sweet potato, mee rebus, spaghetti carbonara) but today I lost weight, which now I'm 86.7(-1.2kg).

A trick I used is by eating protein and veggies first. Like on Wed, I went out with Winnie to have mee rebus(noodles with thick gravy), so I added fried chicken, and ate fried chicken, egg, nuts and anchovies first then I dive into the noodles. I enjoyed the food, and I'm left with 3/4 of the noodles cause I'm loaded with protein first. 

Another trick I used, is stick to smaller portion and brown bag the rest. My sister made baked chicken, spaghetti carbonara and loaded baked potato last Tuesday. I ate a small bowl of spaghetti carbonara, chicken and salad, and I feel full. So I bring the potatoes home, and ate one for the next day dinner. 

And if I had a lot of carbs yesterday, I try to load up on veggies and protein the next day. There's a term on that, called carbs cycling. So you are not deprived on carbs, yet you burn enough fat the next day. You can do alternate days, such as 2 low carbs, 1 high carbs, or today low carbs and next day high carbs. But don't think of it as cheat day, or eating simple carbs. 

An omelette with mushroom, herbs, and cheese with baby romaine salad and a jambu air.

A rule of thumb is using the strength training exercise on your high carbs day, so to burn the food you've eaten. And some of my suggestion are sweet potato, whole grain pasta or whole grain rice/bread. Today is my low carbs day, and I've eaten 3 half boiled eggs with spicy soy sauce for breakfast, and stir fry chicken, cauliflower, okra and tomatoes for lunch and dinner. I ate bingka jagung(corn patty cake made with flour, sugar, corn) and coconut milk pudding for snacks. Yesterday I ate 3 half boiled egg for breakfast, a salad and vegetables omelette for lunch and 1 medium loaded baked potato. 

Although I'm not on Atkins, I'm sticking to low carbs as it is proven good for heavier PCOS patients, and its the first time that I actually lose weight without too much restrictions. And as I lost 1.2kg in 3 days while eating certain amount of carbs, I believe I could lose more even while eating carbs. 

Tomorrow I'm planning to eat low carbs as well. And high carbs for Saturday. And to tell you the truth, I've already planned to eat Aglio et Olio spaghetti with prawns and veggies. Yumss. Since I tend to overeat pasta, I'll make sure to load on salad first before diving into the scrumptious spaghetti. ❤️

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